I have been hearing women on my consult calls refer to themselves as “alpha females.” When I looked up the term to get more clarity, it is defined as “a woman who has embraced her leadership ambitions – is talented, highly motivated and self-confident.” They proceed to tell me that they just need to figure out how to cut back on drinking – they tried many things, but they know they can do it. They figured out how to lose weight, are successful at other endeavors, and they just need to apply those skills to their drinking. I have 100% faith that they can do it too. They talk about how they just won’t buy it and have it in the house, or how they will commit to ordering just 2 drinks when out with friends, or they will make a commitment to just not drink during the week.
This time will be different.
Sometimes the harder we try to control something, the more it winds up controlling us.
When I ask HOW they will achieve that, it is answered with “Well, I will just do it. I need to make it happen and make it a priority.” When I ask, “Have you tried this strategy before?” I get “Yes, but this time will be different.” I used to think I just needed to try harder too and it will work. But what if trying harder the same way you tried before that failed is not the answer? What if the “how” is not working? Instead, what if you decided to think about alcohol differently and allowed the process of brain or thought transformation to occur.
Sometimes the harder we try to control something, the more it winds up controlling us. Maybe it’s time to change our “how.”